No Safer Place

I think I sometimes make the mistake of creating the impression that I am so sure of myself that I am sure of my beliefs. The raw truth is, there are days that I feel I'm drowning, overwhelmed by the world, by injustice, by futility, by selfishness, by knowledge. Like Peter, I'm sinking because I've begun to worry so much about the stormy skies & tumultuous waves that I lose sight of the One who beckons me on with love. The truth is, there are days when I find myself embarking on long walks whispering, doubting, crying, questioning, shouting at God, talking with Him and confessing my doubts & fears - all the uncertainty and worry that threatens to swallow me whole. The truth is, there are days when I feel utterly lost, agonizing with an aching within that fills me with the darkest dread. And I'm suddenly not so sure of myself anymore. That's when I realize that I've made the mistake of defining my self-worth in what I do, in what others think, and in my own grand plans. But here's the truth I learnt: true fulfillment comes only when you find your identity in God and live in the center of His will. There is no greater call, no safer place.

~ j a n i e ll e

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