I do not have enough faith to be an atheist. Neither can I afford to be an agnostic. Sitting on the fence will hurt your bum. Feigning ignorance to the truth, science, reason & reality brazenly available isn't bliss, it is misery.
I wake up and I see the sunlight flooding through the window. Blue skies stretch out beyond the rooftops. Green leaves falling in the spring breeze. I'm alive. God. I cannot reject the truth that God is real to me. He is real to us all - it is just that not all of us acknowledge His presence and receive His love through what Jesus did for us on the Cross. I admit, I really do not have enough 'faith' to be an atheist. I'd have to be mad. I'd have to give up reason. I can't do that.
Faith demands the use of reason, but it also demands surrender. Believing in God requires us to be accountable for our actions. And this is the part that many of us don't like. We want freedom without responsibility, without consequences. That's not real freedom at all.
Moreover, another reason that I do not have enough faith to be an atheist is the fact that there is undeniable wickedness and evil in the world. Without the words of the Bible, man cannot tell why there is evil and good in this world. They can't tell why we have a sense of right and wrong. They can try to explain away love and hate, empathy and murder in a jumble of scientific and psyhological terms, but they can't tell why they exist.
I cannot believe that there is no accountability for our actions, no justice, no responsibility. Not just for the 'bad people', but for all of us. I cannot believe that there is nothing to our convictions of right and wrong, our repulse toward evil and injustice. I can't believe that these inclinations are just random chemical and neurological aberrations firing away in a meaningless, pointless universe in all its beauty and grandeur and orderly design. The only thing that's chaotic about it is US. And the Bible is the only thing that tells me why this is so. It gives me a wholistic answer, and a wholistic solution; physically, spiritually, mentally; internally, externally; presently, eternally.
If the atheist says there's no fixed morality, no absolute truth, no meaning to this world, why should I listen to him? It doesn't make sense, does it? But I listen to his point of view precisely because I believe this world matters, he matters, and there's a reason behind his perspective.
Besides, if I decided to punch him in the face for no good reason, wouldn't he be fuming with fury? But why? If there's no God, isn't that how things are anyway? Just accept it. It means nothing. It hurts. But it means nothing.
I don't have enough faith to be an atheist.
~ J a n i e ll e