I am at the crossroads. I am at the intersection of choices. God knows my heart wants to choose His way for me - which is the best way, but never the easiest route. I know it. And I'm afraid I will fail, because I already have fallen by the wayside time and again.
But that's it, isn't it? It is precisely because I can't do it that I must choose it. Because it means I will always be humbled, and I will never become conceited in my own self-ambition. I will always be reliant on God's spirit and word guiding me, because apart from Him all my best-laid plans are without spiritual foresight and thus, utter futility. But with Him, I will discover - even in spite of my weakness and shortcomings - the potential and gifts that were lying dormant within me.
Nevertheless, I am at the crossroads. And I must choose. What I think I want or what I know my soul desires most. Sometimes these convictions are crowded out by the noise of distractions and the lesser things - the temporary things. See, the eternal things wil remain. They do not manipulate or coerce or force anyone into receiving or desiring them. But the fleeting things do. And this is what we are always entangled and ensnared in.
Oh God, my soul cries out. Help me to choose. Give me courage, give me resolve, give me Your Spirit. When the comforts of this world are so enticing, help me to see the end, the bigger picture, the vision and mission you have placed in my heart from the beginning.
~ J a n i e ll e