He is My Home

I like what Henri Nouwen said, “Through contemplative prayer we can keep ourselves from being pulled from one urgent issue to another and from becoming strangers to our own heart and God’s heart.” (In the Name of Jesus, p. 42) 

This year has changed my life, inwardly, because God had always been telling me to spend more time with him. And I finally took the step in that direction. At first I spent thirty minutes in the morning and night. I was doing it hastily. Then gradually God’s spirit started to open my eyes to His word and I found it more and more interesting. I began to spend one hour. I’d worship, play my guitar or piano, and write a song in between sometimes. Other times I’ll burst out in prayer – or I’ll just be silent the whole time. As two months passed, I began to completely abandon looking at my phone or my clock. I’d spend two, three hours. Lately, I’ve been spending four hours plus nearly every day. Just sitting. Reading the bible, meditating on it. Listening. Waiting. Praying in the Spirit. Worshipping. Songwriting. Resting.

That’s ‘contemplative prayer’. We actively draw closer to God by thinking of it, sitting in his presence whether we ‘feel’ it or not. It’s difficult at first to put everything down. But after awhile, it becomes such a beautiful luxury. After about 5 months of doing this since March, I remember once thinking, ‘God, I know I won’t have this luxury again in the future if I’m out in the mission field or wherever you lead me. Thank you for this time.” 

Wherever I am, I can be ‘home’ in His presence. It’s true. 

I have no home apart from Jesus. 

J a n i e ll e

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