Sunday

No Regrets Following Jesus

Oh hello! It has been a long while since I wrote on The Undivided Heart.  

I have taken a few months away since I went on mission travel to Rwanda and Uganda in the summer and since I got home to Melbourne and began the next chapter studying my Master of Teaching (Music)! 

The Undivided Heart has always been a place that I share my deep musings on what life and faith means to me on my journey. Now I reflect on the past few months and I cannot help but say 'thank You Jesus!' for taking me through the tough and uncertain moments. 

It is now an inescapable truth to me that Jesus is real. In my life, in my world. And not only to me, but to the countless other sojourners I have met both in Australia and Africa the past few months and years. There is no doubt in my mind that none of these divine connections are mere coincidences. Following Jesus has drawn me into a wild, unexpected odyssey of discovering my calling, and the world around me in radical new ways. Since 2014, when I decided to take my faith journey seriously with renewed commitment, I have been challenged, humbled, broken, and moved to follow Jesus into the tough places He goes to - like never before in my life. I look back on the past two years and I can't believe that since I have said yes repeatedly to what Jesus wants to do in and through my life, I have gone on mission travels to Israel, Zimbabwe, Rwanda, Kenya, and Uganda! In such a short space of time, I have encountered different kinds of situations and peoples, and it has been nothing short of exhilarating. But at the same time, I have learnt to trust the still, small voice of Jesus in every single one of these challenging moments. 

One day I will write a book. But for now, I do not care to write one. It seems to me that the most important thing in life is to know who Jesus is, to love Him as He calls me to love others, and to walk humbly with Him for the rest of my days doing what matters to His mission in this still-broken world. It seems so simple to me now. I have learnt to stop striving by my own futile efforts in order to satisfy some vain ambition or expectation. I have learnt to pray and to really pray as I actually take action to obey the Word (the truths in my precious Bible). I have learnt that obedience to Jesus' voice is not a burden, in fact, it is truest freedom! It is borne out of love, faith, and complete trust. 

The most trying times for me have been the times where fear and doubt threatened to consume me. In those moments, I began to look at the uncertainty of the situation and my inadequacy, and thus I began to sink in the mire. There were dark times when I thought Jesus wasn't with me because I couldn't 'feel' Him. Yet I always pressed on, because I knew that there was no one else I could turn to even if I chose to turn away. Every single time, I get out of that fog of confusion and I realise that He was with me all along and He gave me the strength to pull through in spite of everything. I realised that my emotions and feelings are fleeting. They are not always based on the truth. In fact, when circumstances threaten to tear me down, I should simply trust, pray and uphold the truth of God's promises. That is the only way that the darkness will disperse and give way to the light of truth. 

I have learnt to journey with others. Jesus never meant for me to do life and mission alone. He has since answered my earnest prayers for mission-minded friends - comrads in the faith, whom I could journey with. I never thought that He could send me such friends half-way across the world, but He did! I have some of my best friends now in Rwanda and other parts of the world. I see now that there had always been a bigger picture. It doesn't matter even when I can't see it clearly or fully. The most important thing is that I follow Jesus in the moment and let Him lead me. 

I continue this journey with no regrets, knowing that whether I live or die, my life is completely in His hands. 

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